Stop, Drop and Roll.

I keep forgetting that I exsist. That's ok. At least now I'm doing things that I want to do. I went to Eymeric's last night to help him with his math. We got more done than I ever expected (considering the amount of time we spend talking about silly things). That's a good thing. good for happy for sure.

Something funny happened today. I really wish I could remember what it was. I think it was something someone said.

I love how Claire is always so happy...well recently. That makes me happier, since I'm often around her.

I don't like how I had to wait for my sister again. That makes me angry when I have to wait for her.

I like how I'm becoming addicted to hot chocolate. That really makes my day.

I hate how my mouth is killing me. That takes away from the joy of eating, and speaking. HOWEVER....!!! My braces are ready to come off late January. It's about time...only.......5 years later!! yess!!!!

I love you Claire. <33333

all is well...quite well actually. :)

Claire's house was the best fun. We watched The Little Mermaid...then Amityville Horror. It wasn't extremely scary until like the last half hour...then we started getting the jitters. as soon as it finished...and I mean like RIGHT when it was done, Fraz knocked on the door...and we both started screaming. It was perfect timing. haha. then we watched the breakfast club and listened to music after. Fraz left, then Claire and I fell asleep watching the Jungle Book. When we woke upm we were given chocolate chip pancakes and apple juice, and we watched Wedding Date. Cute...but awkward.
All in all. sooper weekend so far. I'm pretty happy right now. like very. tee hee (yess Claire!!!)

I dunno what else to say.

ick

I feel sick, but i have to stay alive*
I over slept my alarm this morning...again.
This happens pretty much EVERY morning...but today I was right on time for band.
Trumpet lesson tonight.
yay.
I have nothing to say. I'm pretty tired though.
yeah.

$272.54... growing... collecting... awesome!

I just can't believe it. Absolutely cannot.
My little sister has more power over me than I do over her.
It's pathetic, and it's driving me crazy.
So I had jazz after school...then Eymeric was going to come over to help me study for social...and I would help him study for math...fair trade off. But like ALWAYS...he ditched me. Right at the last minute too. That is so hurtful. anyways...so Claire brings me home to her house so that she can help the best she can with the other language, cuz she's sooper pro smart at social. I end up just talking about Eymeric and how stupid he can be sometimes.
THEN i get home at like 7...start studying right away...and come upstairs at 10...since Carlin's supposed to be off the computer by then...and she tells ME to wait. Even though I haven't been on the computer at all...and she's had most of the night...except when my mom was on. I'd be ok with this happening like once or twice...but it happens EVERYDAY. and it's driving me up the wall. I hate that she bosses me around...she has no right.

Enough of me ranting.

I hope I do ok on social and math tomorrow. I'm working hard to get a good grade. The number doesn't really matter to me though...I just want to do better than normal. Even though it's huge.

The flower of my heart=the apple of my eye

C (to A): k, so [he] said to listen to my heart... and you pretty much are my heart... so do I put myself out there and go for [him]? or do I hold back?


You make me smile everyday. That's why we haven't jumped in front of a train...because I'm your heart, and you're making me smile.

so..16+1=17. hmmm. help?

Well. A lot has happened.
Party a success.
Only one person was stupid with my dog.
So I'm currently drinking given hot chocolate from "Allison's Mug-o".
From Philip. I also enjoyed the licorice when I got home from school.
[I thought certain events that happened at school today would make me happy, but the high was very temporary and I needed the comfort of my licorice when I got home.]
Yesterday was alright for a birthday I guess.
The only person to sing me happy birthday was Mr. Brown. He almost sang it twice, just because he felt bad that no one else had sung it.
I felt poopy. and I was totally looking forward to Sloppy Joes.
That never happened. The yearly birthday tradition was broken *tear*
BUT Lauren called me...and Laura...and PETER!!! (it was the first time for him since I moved...or I think maybe ever.)
I was on the phone pretty much all night last night with various people.
I'm not quite sure if I was sleeping tonight after school or not.
I think I may have been.
I've been pretty tired lately.
School pretty much does that to me.
I have to write Will a note tonight. Just because he asked.
I think he's even going to write me back.
Paige and Eymeric broke up today. It was their 14th monthiversary.
I'm glad.
That's enough.

Thank you for the hot chocolate anyways. and the licorice. You know me quite well. I'm impressed.


Ps. Trumpet update: total: $252.54

Ok so, everybody has a cell phone...

Phil's shoe laces were actually too white for his shoes.
it gave me a chuckle.
not literally handing it to me, but close enough.
i got a green scarf today.
I really like scarves.
this one is soft too.
grocery shopping is pretty fun...it's really the only shopping i enjoy.
I think that's because i get to eat what I buy.
food is wonderful.
I'm sleepy.
goodnight.


i <3 u Claire :):):) ....and Ashley, you're my reason to wake up in the morning (and not jump in front of a train)

now introducing....ms. red head!!

On this day, November 18th, 2005, a mark was made in history.
the long, dueling battle of Allison against the hair has ended.
Not only will the morning time normally occupied my styling be decreased,
will the amity between Allison and her hair will be increased.
On this glorious and victorious day, the boundless reflections of the sun light surround all who see.
There's a slight tinge of red, yet no blood was shed!
The forfeit of the hair will continue to be significant, influencial, and impacting for generations to come.
This, my friends, was the first time for many, many wonderful things.

Age is whatever you think it is. You are as old as you think you are.

Maturity isn't something that comes naturally...it's something that you need to work on.
Thomas and I broke up today.
I didn't want it to happen, but it needed to happen.
Whatever.
I'm done for now. at least until the new year.
maybe even longer.
I really haven't given it much thought.

Hear Us Say Jesus.

Ok. So maybe you don't. Maybe you just hear us say what's on our mind. Or you do hear us, but our actions speak louder than our words. I think that's pretty much true. It's hard to always think about him though. It actually is really hard. We get so easily caught up in the crap that we deal with at school, at home, with friends, at work, and sometimes even at church. Whatever right? It actually does matter. I get so bothered by myself. I'm so fake. I wear a mask at school, at home, at the mall, and at church. AAnnnnddd...they're all different. GAH. I don't know what my point is. Maybe if you're just one who doesn't say Jesus...try to understand that it's hard for those who do when they get shut down so easily by everyone else.

Ugh.

Drama drama drama. That's what Vic Lewis is known for. I believe it was just 5 people who cried this year. we thought it would be 7 though. I took several photos, mostly of peoples' behinds. for the band bum poster. it will be fantastic if i ever get around to completing it (or even starting it). I went to the Flames game tonight. I took 562 pictures...which is a lot...BUT...i caught their final AND WINNING goal. it was also fantastic. I'm sleepy though. pictures wi;; be posted sometime soon. but not all of them (obviously)

Vic Lewis. TOMORROW!

I'm utterly excited...so much so I invited some friends over to my house (not realizing, of course, that my room...and house, are complete disasters). I don't actually care, but for some strange reason, it matters to Mom.

I am drinking the biggest cup of hot chocolate (not to mention, the SWEETEST) I have ever had or made. This will definately help me stay up to clean my room and tidy up around the house for tomorrow. *gulps the bottom of the cup (always the most chocolatey)*

Unfortunately, I have been eating more chocolate lately than my body can handle...and my allergies are quite annoyingly kicking in.

Also. The knuckle of my right hand pointer finger is rather itchy.

I thought something was rather humorous today. I was listening to my Women & Songs 6 album after school, and there was a song by Joydrop. I take this to mean something like...a drop of joy perhaps. Or at least something along those lines. This song however, seemed to point in the opposite direction.

Sometimes Wanna Die

Don’t worry ‘bout one thing
Don’t worry 'bout nothin she said
I'm not gonna let this one go
Nobody’s on my side
Nobody seems to see how much,
How deep, how far these things can be
My eyes are dry and I,
My eyes are dry and
I, I, still don’t even know you
I, I, still wish that I could hold you
I, I, I sometimes wanna die
And everywhere I go
And everyone I see
Somehow
Almost sets me free
And the space where we meet
Is different from the rest
And I just can't seem to forget that
My eyes are dry and
I, I, still don’t even know you
I, I, still wish that I could hold you
I, I, I sometimes wanna die
I sometimes wanna die
I sometimes wanna…
And you were at the start
And now you are the end
And you left me with nothing to defend
I need the voice of a good friend
Can't stop myself from laughing
No matter how sad
These things can be
These things can be
My eyes are bright and
I, I, still don’t even know you
I, I, still wish that I could hold you
I, I, still don’t even know you
I, I, I sometimes wanna die
I sometimes wanna die
I sometimes wanna die
Yeah I sometimes wanna die…

See what I mean??

Sometimes...

Sometimes it's not about you

Sometimes it's not what you think it is

Sometimes what you say hurts me

Sometimes what you don't say hurts me

Sometimes it's ok to respect me

Sometimes it's ok to tell me what you think of me, either good or bad, but respectfully

Sometimes I'm not in the best mood

Sometimes even my best isn't good enough

Sometimes I'm not completely happy

Sometimes I'm going to show my emotions

Sometimes I don't want to be around people

Sometimes you hurt me more than you think or mean

Sometimes you don't know everything

Sometimes you don't understand

Sometimes you don't need to understand

.....................................

Thanks Ashley, Claire, Thomas, Mike, Eymeric.

It's nice to have someone there to listen.

I'm sorry I'm not perfect.

I'm working on it.

I was hoping my best would be enough.

I have to go do my laundry

This Disease (november 4, 2005)

[This disease]

spreading wildly through

intruding on all that's known to be

an illness

yet a positive effect.

sometimes it's happiness

often enough something completely rare

surprising

never knwoing or understanding

no logic at all

we get lost in the confusion

noises and sounds envelop us

discovering new thoughts, new ideas, new feelings.

harmonies develop in the mind

melodies seep through

piercieng in sound

warming our souls

opening the eyes to our hearts

allowing us to see what truly is

the existance of things unimaginable

clouds open to a wast sky of blue

the heat of the sun, and its light

reflect off the vulnerability.

dirtiness and uncleanliness is dissolved

though the strong desire to reappear still remains

this disease makes the mountains between us crumble

and fall to their knees.

The space between us falls apart

time stops

we try to find our places

while the whole world turns in the opposite direction,

against us

trying to escape

there has to be a place where we can only go.

where time doesn't start again

emotions are enhancing

and nothing else matters

the starts and the moon light the path

to this new world

Just you

and me

and [this disease]

How many stickers do you have on your car, if any?: 0
What posters do you have in your room?: Chicken Little, Starfield
What do you hear right now?: the silence on the other end of the phone line and my birds chirping behind me
If you could drink anything right this second, what would be?: a chocolate ice cap
Does anything hurt on your body right now?: my leg
If someone you hated died, would you laugh and spit on their grave?: No
What's your job position called?: what job?
What size ring do you wear?: no idea
Do you own a picture phone?: nope
What's your girlfriend'sboyfriend's birthday?: September 26
What was your elementary school's mascot?: a Ram
What's your favorite bottled water?: Dasani
What's the next concert/show you're going to and when?: maybe B.B.King, but not likely.
What were you doing at 9 pm last night?: talking on the phone with Thomas.
What's your favorite Starbucks drink?: mochachino
Do you exercise as much as you should?: nope
Did you attend your High School prom?: we don't have those.
Do you go to someone else's prom?: nope

SOME STRANGE QUESTIONS:

Something purple within 5 feet of you: my sweater
The sexiest item of clothing you own: my grad dress
If the Matrix existed, would you want to know?: yes
How long can you hold your breath underwater?: 30 secondsish
Favorite Pocky flavor: chocolate
When were you nails last painted: last weekend
The weirdest thing you've ever heated in the microwave: nail clippers
Ever done the Electric Slide?: mmhmm
How much Japanese do you know?: i used to know how to count to 10.
Sparkly things?: not particularly
Ever crash a car, been in accidents?: nope
Do you look good in yellow?: nope.
Do you sing?: yes
Ever sang in front of a crowd?: yes
Do you dance?: yes
Is your hair long enough to chew on?: no
Least favorite colo(u)r?: purple
Favorite kind of pizza?: meat lovers
Ever had Dippin' Dots?: ?
Ever played an instrument?: yes. many.
How old were you when you got a cell phone?: 100000 i don't have one
How many tickets do you have?: ??
How old were you when you had your first kiss?: 14
How old were you when you had your first “official” date?: 14
How old were you when you had your first REAL boyfriend/girlfriend?: 14
Were you in love?: i believe so.
Do you want to get married?: yes
At what age do you want to get married?: 24
Have you ever been married?: no
At what age do you want to have kids?: 27-28
How many kids?: 3-4
Do you believe in divorce?: i do. but i disagree with it.

Boys are made of paprika.

I met glow-in-the-dark skeleton.
it's only the wrapper...NOT the m&m's that glow in the dark. that was disappointing.
I did Laura's hair. 2 times. she didn't like it the first time. It's understandable. she looked ridiculous.
I get an airplane out of the weekend. I'm not sure when she's going to give it to me though.
I met a lot of people. I remember most of their names.
My favourite 2 people were Raj and Jason. they're funny together.
I managed to develop my own fan club.
that excited me.
I'm rambling. So I'll stop.
I miss Thomas.

shiver shiver shake shake

so cold. so shakey. so confused.
maybe lack of food. maybe lack of sleep. maybe nervousness.

I have decided that some things can't stay the same. and not all change is good. not for the same thing. that wouldn't make any sense. but yes. those are my thoughts.

I don't know what I'm thinking right now. I don't know how I'm feeling right now. It's much too difficult to distinguish everything that's scurrying through my brain and invading my thoughts and emotions.

I wish that they were as distinct as the different colours. maybe I'm wearing a mask.

Morkubine the Porcupine is THE POINTMAN

HOTTEST NIGHT EV-ER
Chicken Little. Paige Eymeric A blast.
I wish Thomas could have been there.
So my dad won these tickets.
the 3 of us go.
they do a draw to give out prizes.
3
they pick the first one
right before the second one we're all like "it'll be one of us"
3-7-0
eymeric!!
no joke.
we won: 2 t-shirts, 2 books, PS2 game, soundtrack and an action figure.
then at the end we each got posters for the movie and a bag of popcorn.
We were sitting beside this lady who thought everything we sad was just the funniest thing ever.
that was exciting.
not to mention, it's a great movie.
everyone should go.
i would like it for christmas *wink wink*
Now I'm just sitting at home, have an english muffin (2 actually) for dinner.

Advantage: I had a better night than you and now my hungry stomach is being fed.

When all else fails, you can blame it on me...or get a frozen bag of peas!

So to deal with this hurting back issue, I have frozen peas between me and the back of my chair. I'm hoping it will work. yay! Courtney remembered to bring me pictures from Peter and Amanda's wedding last night. Not only is my hair extremely short, but I must say, these are the only 2 pictures that I think I look fantastic in. If you would like to see them...I think I would show you.

.............................

My knowledge of computers and technology is enhancing. I don't like it. I should like have to take a course to understand...I shouldn't just be getting it on my own. I'm going crazy.

.....................

I got a card today. With my name on it. And pink hearts. Squirted 3 times with cologne. I hope I feel better too. Boys are the cutest. And Life is the greatest.

......................................

I can't decide what I want to eat. I just typed a lot. I hate it when that happens. No one ever reads the long posts. I haven't even said what I wanted to say. But that's ok.

I was completely surprised to find that in the past 2 1/2 days, 44 people have registered into my counter. that's a lot.