we do the mash...the Jesus mash!!

Reverse Trick Or Treating.
THE BOMB.
one door shut in our faces.
one choir sing along.
two "hey, it's Easter"
one "it's halloween you know."
The night was spectacular.
YOU didn't have people saying "that was fantastic" after your "trick or treat".
night of laughter.
Night of tears
Night of singing way off key. (thanks to Peter)
All in all, my night beats yours.
Philip you didn't come. Shame on you!

Advantage: Reverse trick or treating beats regular trick or treating any year or day. So Merry Christmas :)

[yawn]

Today I accomplished:
~getting out of bed on time
~getting ready for church in time...including talking on the phone at 9 am
~forgetting my Bible
~sitting all the way through church
~eating a doughnut
~inviting Philip over for lunch
~eating lunch without making a mess
~changing into wreckable clothing
~digging some holes
~breaking apart a cement foundation
~not hurting myself
~only bleeding from cutting my finger on my shoe (didn't know that was possible, but alright)
~eating a mcflurry
~eating an orange
~getting out of Phil's car safely and making it to my doorstep without toppling over after a hard day's work.

Ask me about what I did. You'll have a good laugh.

Advantage: I started my week doing something new. I'm in pain, yet thouroughly refreshed. It's beautiful.

I'm totally excited for reverse trick or treating tomorrow night. it'll be the best thing ever!

too many broken hearted.

My dad makes better fruit smoothies than orange julius. I hope straws were purchased at Cosco...that would make me happy. I've decided that I don't like filling out applications. It just takes a long time. I don't really have much to say.
Advantage: My stomach is satisfied, my hand has a writing cramp and you don't have to read my blabbering.

I realise that the picture in my previous post is scary.

YAY!

Jazz concert=Success!!---I hit my E!!!!
Advantage: I feel great.





that's all.

and tut tut it looks like rain.

Life kissed me on the lips today. and it was wonderful. Time stopped for a moment. And I would go back to do it all again. Sleep will be great. Sleep IS great. Cookie, You're the only one who'll completely understand this. I'm eating chinese food. You gotta love the chinese people. their food is SO yummy. pretty expensive though.

Advantage: I'm now happy. I have a boyfriend. (that's not the advantage.) (i'm happy because of that.)

mmm. sugar crisp.

My earphones electrocuted me this morning while I was walking to school. The static created from the friction in my coat travelled up the wires and into my ears. When I got to school, I touched my locker and my hair literally stood up. It was the most painful shock ever.

Advantage: I now know what it's like to be "electrifying"

........................

Today was a good day. Nothing erratically stupid happened. I heard a rumor. But it stopped [HERE].

I was rolled over by a boy 2 times today. Then I walked him to the stairs. I'm so excited for Vic Lewis.

Advantage: Great attitude=great time

.

I just decided that now would be a good time to go to bed. Unfortunately, Sleep isn't being friendly, and I'm afraid it may take a while for us to reconcile our friendship. Sleep is a girl if Life's a boy.

♪ What a lovely way to burn ♪

I have a [grass] stain on my pants.

Around the knee area.

it was a beautiful day today

the [blue] sky with few clouds,

the [bright yellow] sun shining above me,

reflecting off my [white] papers.

Beside me is a boy.

wearing some [blue] jeans.

His nose starts to bleed.

[red] blood is on his hands.

We both wanted the same thing.

a Kleenex.

Am I the hamburger?

Double bacon cheese burger minus the buns, with 2 pickles on top.

I understand.

Am I the burger?

or is that you?

You left too soon.

Stop thinking like that about yourself.

It makes me sad.

And please, don't say never.

You can do anything you set your mind to.

It's just the way it works.

and you don't have to understand me.

...............................

You stopped loving me ok

you stopped liking me ok

you stopped talking to me ok

you stopped being friendly to me ok

You stopped caring why?

I like black and white, dream in black and white...

Today is fun like jello.

I'm in a particularly good mood.

The sermon this morning was about love.

I learned a lot.

My best friend just told me he hates me.

I'm really sad about this.

Sad is actually a really bad word to describe how I feel right now.

I was uncomfortable doing something for him, and now he's holding that against me, and won't be my friend until it's done.

I'm not going to compromise my morals for someone else.

I'm hurt that I meant that little to him.

I was told him that no matter how much he hates me, I'll love him.

I'll always love him.

I wish he could see that.

Maybe this is just one thing God wants me to get through.

I need to rely on Him.

I've been struggling with this lately.

I love doing things on my own, with no one's help.

But I guess I need to learn how to ask for help.

on a happier note.

I got a new coat, finally.

Thanks Mom.

I spent another 2 hours in Sears Electronics.

I watched Lemony Snicket's again.

I might get a job soon too.

I put in an application today.

and my resume is complete.

=)

Diet Coke With Lime: LIME-FLAVOURED DIET COKE

so my day is getting progressively better.

My phone call never came.

the coat didn't fit right.

I had a nap.

my weird dream from last night came back.

and supper reminded me of diarrhia.

maybe I'll get the call soon.

then I'll have someone to come with me to the concert.

other than my sister and my dad.

He wouldn't get here in time though.

maybe I'll find a coat to fit me.

maybe this dream is really a nightmare.

maybe it's supposed keep coming back.

Maybe I really am invisible today.

maybe i made myself feel pretty today for a reason.

today was a waste of make up.

I'm fighting my eyes.

honestly, I shouldn't be tired. But my eyes won't stay open.

I think what I'm doing right now is the thing I hate doing the most.

Waiting for a phone call.

Not that I'm impatient, but more that I could be doing something else right now if I knew when the call was coming. Or if plans were made ahead of time.

My mom is buying me a fall jacket. Right now actually. or around right now.

I'd like it before I go out, but it does look like a nice enough day to go without it. If I ever do go out.

..............................

I'm invisible today. or I'd like to be at least. so now I am.

Life is a boy.

J: how's life?
A: life's ok.
J: that's good
A:but then again, I haven't spoken with him for a while, things could have changed

....................

I spent an hour in Sears electronics today. With out even shopping. That was basically the most interesting part of my day.

......................

I laughed when I saw the coat that my mom was wearing to the mall. I think lots of people were laughing inside their heads. That's so fun. And secretive.

.....................................................

Fever is pretty much my favorite song right now. It talks about Pocohantas.

Is a project worth it?

I stapled my finger today. there's a hole now. and a bruise. Next time, the teacher will refill it. the stapler that is.

....................

I don't know if it's just me. But I do feel like I never do anything for me. I don't say no. to any one...unless it's something that would comprimise my morals and beliefs. I'm really getting sick of it. Not doing stuff for other people. But not being noticed or appreciated for what I do. Even when I tell people something, they blat out their own problems, so I give them my opinion of what would help. Nothing for me. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU. If you don't want to help, don't. I'll get along in life without you. but I'll be there for you when you need to talk to someone. Thank you for your time, I appreciate it.

Ah...but you see...there is SOME hope!

Romeo loved Juliet
Juliet she felt the same
When he put his arms around her,
He said Julie, baby, you're my flame.
Thou givest fever
When we kisseth
Fever with thy flaming youth
Fever, I'm a fire
Fever, yay, I burn forsooth

I think it would be really romantic if someone said that (or something along those lines) to another person. Laura says that the most romantic thing a person could do for her is build her a tree house. So I just asked a bunch of people what the most romantic thing any one could do for them would be and these are some of the results:
Propose at camp
no idea
dress up for me, then come to my door and give me roses while waiting to drive me to a nice dinner
Just hear me out and recognize me for who I am
Flowers, breakfast in bed when i don't feel like getting up in the morning.
Telling me they like me.
Sing a song they wrote just for me, under the stars in the middle of a field.
"I love you"
Take me Dancing
More spur of the moment type thing.
Caring for me when I'm sick, bringing me flowers and my favorite movie.
Romance is over rated.
it would probably involve a summer night and an empty field and stars... i love watching the stars
say i love you and give me a big hug and kiss
i dunno, to have someone tell you they love you in front of all their friends

This is a pretty colour. anyways...boys...girls...this is important! haha...not really. I thought it would be interesting to find out what other people thought about that. It was. I have a yucky taste in my mouth.
The hope for today. It started out great. I got 75% on my social test monday. which is amazing for me. so yes. I WILL get my mark up, and I won't have to go tutorials of the rest of my life!!! :D:D:D YAY! ah man today was a great day!

Dr Pepper*

I definately didn't know it was a product of cadbury.
I should read the label more often.
but on people, no. those are horrible things
A person is not a thing. only things are labelled;
therefore, a person should not be labelled.
My straw is broken.
It seems I always get the broken straws.
There's a boy. He seems broken on the inside.
Confusion is taking over his thoughts.
I know what that's like. I can relate.
I think if my sister were here,
she would find me a straw that works.
Dr Pepper can only be consumed with a straw.
I think I should start working on my album.
The sooner it's done, the sooner I can work on Philosophy of Yellow
(title compliments of Peaches)
This is the Bomb that I've been waiting for.
I hate it when boys make promises they don't keep.

Oh say can you see my eyes if you can than my hair's too short

Carving pumpkins was fun
I'm glad.
Pictures of the TV in my hand.
I'm sad.
No incoming mail from a friend.
I'm blue.
But I did get a phone call, indeed.
It's true.
The nap was not long enough.
I sigh.
Not feeling the greatest
don't know why.

gah. I'm so bored.
need something to do.
Not homework either,
Cause that's just stupid.
But I'm working on it.
Gah. I like that word.
It gets a lot out. even loud.
Dad told me that I'm getting a cd.
For my birthday. I wondered.
Why would he tell me that?
Holy. A boy. this is weird.
POP. How do I react? it's sudden.
and there are no feelings..
*sigh*
Can't there ever just be no one?

not everything is meant to be okay.

Popping in and out
the desperate waves of acceptance
rushing in
knocking on the door to your mind
collapsing
energy defficiency
weakness to fight
there's a need to allow
feel different
nothings't eh way it's supposed to be
thoughts scrambling
discovering new sadness,
new tears
the latest trend--falling apart
Infrequent behaviours
yet frequent failures
choices left undecided
definately insignificant
running through the darkness
perhaps of your mind
tripping
branches scratching at your skin
from in the surface it splits
running to escape
sweat streaming down
your face drenched
tears of fear, and blood
torn up on the inside and out
detached harmonies from a song
that's intruding your thoughts
depriving your soul
writhing with pain
life is draining
the darkness doesn't end
leaving yout iwth nothing
all you feel is injury
emptyness is so consuming
everything changes
leaving you behind.
trapped and lonely
the wave of acceptance has come...
...and gone
it rushes over you, but leaves you dry
with not a single tear left to cry...

I have a yeast infection on my tongue. it basically tastes like dry puke...causing my whole mouth to be dry. It hurts. I don't even know what the heck it is. OH well. Thomas is falling apart. Unhealthy. The poor guy. You can add my dear friend to your prayer list. That would be nice. And maybe Brett too. I think that it would be nice if people prayed for him. I don't know him anymore though, so I couldn't say what about, so I guess just him. It was Casey's birthday yesterday. No one knew. No one said anything. I think that would suck. It would make me quite sad. 17. I never talk to him. I think I might now. I asked him today when his birthday is. All he said was "yesterday" :( I think I'll make him a card. and give it to him on monday. Maybe he would like that. I'm glad Mike is ok. Really glad.

*sigh*

It bothers me. Incredibly. I wish I were smarter. In many areas...school for starters...then my personal life...friends...and dating. I think right now being single is important. Too much happens. I don't take the time to notice anymore. Nothing. It's my own fault though. Too preoccupied with what I think other people want. This is ridiculous. I'm so pathetic. GAH. *sigh*

But the stars we could reach were just star fish on the beach.

Treasure these few words til we're together.

this is stupid. I dont' know what to say. I don't know anything these days. I'm so confused about everything. It's annoying. BLARGH! I'm excited to stay at LAuren's house this weekend. It will indeed be fun. my room is getting cleaner. pretty. Lauren's pretty. really. The beatles are great. thank you Thomas for the cd. It's special. Philip is a lot like you. I realized this this past saturday. I don't know what that means though. ok. I made a funnel out of a serviette to hold my alpha-bits. I forget the cereal for math today. :(

tortellini on the dock

Banff
mountains
cool fall breeze
kids running around
boys saying "you're cute"
and girls laughing later on in the day.

pictures
candy shops
princesses with
bubble gum crayons
British accents in the hotel

Boys
cute boys
in the elevator
making simple fun
of the girls with the crowns

girls
windows
boy excersizing
we wave with a smile
he blushes and smiles back

Boy
and girl
walk toghether
sit down in unison
eat tortellini on the dock

Coffee
cold hands
spilling cider
some bumpy roads
with the heat really high

Chips
chocolate
shining tiaras
twinkling stars
the dark autumn sky

Bi

tif

Splicks

walking shoes

and ttrrraiiinerrs

Tee hee. I reserve the right to laugh at you.

John broke his foot running down a hill backwards while warming up for rugby. tee hee. I got 5 phone calls tonight. I felt special. K. TO ANONYMOUS: who are you?????? I can't think of who you are. Please tell me! There's no one I would be embarrassed to have contact me... :D Hi Mr. Brown.

All was good...

My blog is currently inaccessable to the public, and I don't know why, but that's not going to stop me from posting. I was having a great day. It started out by me finding out that my hamster (Sir Knightly) was infact not in his cage when I went to feed him. This was a great revelation at 7 o'clock this morning (that's sarcasm by the way) right before I was about to leave for band. It's difficult to find a small animal when your eyes are still half asleep, and you're rushed. I was also worried about his safeyty because he fell off of my 5 drawer dresser (4 feetish high) The lid wasn't on his cage. Thankfully, I found him after 10 minutes of searching, but only because my room is still slightly clean from last tuesday. I think this may be the longest it has been clean for. I didn't want the incident to spoil my day however, so I walked to school for wind ensemble and continued on with my life. I got a hug from Thomas. Yay. I like hugs. then math...I don't think that I did so well on my test. Then band again...Mr. Brown got a little upset with the trumpets...we talk too much...but the note with Tom was fun. he's good at drawing wings. haha. then jazz combo at lunch. I'm kinda sorta starting to get it a little. then social. eeekk. I only got 53% on the multiple choice part of the test. who knows with the rest of it. I don't think I passed though. I don't really care...the french revolution means nothing to me. and I don't really care about Napolean. I came home during my spare, did nothing, then went to St John's music with my dad to look at trumpets. I think my final decision is the Yamaha Xeno (silver) It suits my personality, and it sounds great. I'm excited! My grand[parents] made a great and generous contribution to the purchasing of my instrument. I should have it in no time.
Then supper...Tom and Karin Brown (from Huntsville) came to visit my parents...so they were over for supper. Beef on a Bun...YUMM! my dad is great at cooking. It's nice to be eating real food! Then I sat in my room colouring...until i came on here and found out that Thomas's dog died earlier tonight. I'm so sad. I totally know what it feels like. and I get so sad when my friends are sad. and he's one of my best :( *sigh* OH well. All I can do is be there for him. I'm saying too much for nobody to read. Laura...your BBQ chips are waiting for you.

Not Unaffected.

Standing, open hands.
Facing the Heavens.
feel a rush of the Spirit.
it relocates my gaze.
a girl, on the floor.
Crying.
We were once friends.
and the best of.
I was urged to move,
to take her in my arms.
I embrace her, tears streaming.
sobs escaping through my breath.
I feel hers on my cheek.
warming the salty flow.
I'm sick of being fake,
and never happy.
I wanted to escape my mind.
i asked for confidence.
Just to be myself,
the way God wanted.
I couldn't handle my life.
I needed to let go.
I'm filled with overwhelming joy.
Laughing now, hysterically.
Yet tears still falling from her eyes.
There must be something wrong.
I haven't been there for her.
Ever.
I turned my back on her,
right when she needed it the most.
So now, I'll be there.
No matter what.
Even if the whole world runs from her,
I'll be there.
If death is all she feels,
I'll be there to show her love.
If she cries herself to sleep every night,
I'll be there to dry her tears.
If she needs to talk to someone,
I'll be there to listen.
If she needs somewhere to run,
I'll be there with open arms.
If she just needs a friend,
I'll be there forever.


For anyone who wanted to know (anon...I don't know who you are, but you did)...I didn't make it into jazz choir. It's not because I suck...but because only 4 out of the 13 pepople that auditioned for my part got in, and I wasn't one of the top 4!!